Fracas in the Halls of Academe.

What really puts a bee in the bonnet of the elbow patch and pipe set atop the hill at Yukon College?

1. Suspicious selection of the president?
2. Assault in the residence?
3. Bears in the garbage bin?
4. Turnover in the computer support department?

Answer: None of the above. No, only one topic could launch an all-out week-long e-mail melee, dragging in everyone from the union president to the registrar to the facilities supervisor:

Sandwiches.

And not just sandwiches, but the precise location where said sandwiches -- charitable sandwiches! -- might be assembled.

There's really no point in continuing to describe this ridiculous episode, other than to repeat, one last time, "sandwiches."