All you precious parents can shut the %&$*# up.

Here's a fun party game: find the most obnoxious new parent in the room and sidle up. This will invariably be a mother of a Kayden or a Chlöe. Then, during one of the rare pauses in conversation, announce to all "I know exactly what you mean. Raising my two dogs from puppies was exasperating but so rewarding at the same time. I feel blessed."

Oh, but you are now at the receiving end of such a lecture.

This is what childless adults have to put up with each and every stinkin' day. It's just one holier-than-thou moment after another.

If you're wealthy -- and without kids, the odds are in your favour -- you can laugh off the worst of it in your Dom-filled hot tub.

Otherwise, you'll have to develop a very long-range plan to infiltrate and destroy the parenting clique...

Due in June. Not a puppy.


Archived Comments

  1. Kara on 20120205.Sunday:
    I just want to trade mine in for puppies. Congratulations!!
  2. Fawn on 20120205.Sunday:
    It's SO the same thing with a puppy, only in fast-forward. Up unti about age 2, anyway. Then yer on yer own. Wheeee!!
  3. Geof Harries on 20120205.Sunday:
    Whaatt?! Congrats big guy.
  4. Dave on 20120206.Monday:
    Kara, Fawn, and Geof: examples of three non-precious parents without -- to my knowledge -- any Kaydens or Chlöes between 'em.
  5. Tami on 20120206.Monday:
  6. Stacie on 20120206.Monday:
    Winner of the best title of a blog post... ever!!! I don't want to trade my pups in for anything! Though some of 'yer kids are pretty awesome.... :)
  7. Dave on 20120207.Tuesday:
    I would trade my two doggies for a cat... ...just to watch the former cat owner deal with these two gargantuan fur-lined rockets. No more litter box for you! Then I'd get my dogs back and sell the cat for $$$. I win!
  8. Meandering Michael on 20120207.Tuesday:
    If I can convince Fawn, I've got a cat that you can have. For free. No trading of awesome dogs required.
  9. Dave on 20120208.Wednesday:
    What's the Blue Book value on that cat model?
  10. Meandering Michael on 20120208.Wednesday:
    I'd give you a couple hundred dollars to take him.
  11. Dave on 20120208.Wednesday:
    Hmm. A couple hundred bucks? I think I smell a rat. Which is why I'd want a cat, after all: to get rid of the rats, smell and all.