Malcolm Stigwell, Municipal Assassin

March 7
"Oh man, are they going to freak when they see that. Did you use your own number too? Awesome. Boz! Hey, Boz! Wait 'till you hear what Stigs did!"

April 21
"I'm telling you, it's right there in blue and white, right after the listing for arenas. What? No, of course I haven't dialled it. I wouldn't want to know who would answer."

April 24
"The server log file has a number of entries made in early March, but our system doesn't track the specifics, only that some were made by Kathy, and others by this Stigwell. It's circumstantial, but it is his number. I think that's the only way you can look at it."

April 25
"In response to the line of questioning from Councillor Schuyler, the Mayor denied any city involvement. 'The list that was submitted to the telephone company in late February shows no evidence of tampering.'"

April 27
"Jesus, didn't you think someone would spot your little joke? I've spent the past week on the horn with everyone from the regional manager on up. And they're blaming me for all this. Not you. No, me."

April 27
"I can't believe those jackasses canned you. They're all so goddamn anal over there. Oh, Marie, hush, it was just a joke. He'll just get another co-op job and finish with his year like regular. Won't you, boy."

May 2
"I'm afraid there's a problem with your co-op term. Normally we can stitch two placements together. This little episode, however, seems to be the exception. Your former manager at the phone company is refusing to credit you for your time. He won't budge."

May 4
"Mister chairman, it's a simple question. What is the school doing to protect our children from these violent threats? Who is to say this boy won't act on his sick plans? Every day that he spends in a classroom with my daughter and these parents' children is one more chance for him to do them harm."

May 9
"I am sorry ma'am. The board has decided that Malcolm's actions, even though perpetrated outside of school, fall under the zero-tolerance policy. We will have to suspend him through the end of the academic year."

May 15
"Did you feel angry with anyone at school, Malcolm? You don't have to tell me. It is completely natural to feel anger toward some of the people around you. The key is not to give voice to those feelings in inappropriate ways."

May 24
"Mr. Stigwell. It's Malcolm, isn't it? Now when you wrote that directory listing, did you at any time have access to a firearm? So your parents don't own a gun? How about relatives? School buddies? Did anyone else at the phone company suggest this to you, or provide you with a weapon?"

June 9
"Malcolm, Mr. Benoît is from the government. He just wants to ask a few questions about your friends and any clubs or groups they might belong to."

July 21
"The press release announced that all of this year's copies of the greater metropolitan area telephone directory would be recalled and replaced with a newly-printed version. The company has admitted that the current edition is now seen as collectible because of a fictitious 'Department of Assassinations' that was inserted into the city government section of the directory."

Creative Commons© 2007 Dave Rogers.
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