This is about as far as you can take the marketing of a company with a sock puppet mascot.

My company website has sickened me for some time now. I was teaching myself XHTML and a new-fangled thing called CSS when I first built it in mid-2004, and so expended most of my effort on invisible trivialities. Visual design and marketing were obviously lower priorities. However, it did document the average monitor resolutions of the day, as it only took up the top-left ninth of my current screen.

Given that precisely none of my business comes from the website, revamping it was also of low priority. But eventually the sheer embarrassment of the thing grew into a quantifiable liability. So, armed with everybody else's good ideas, and a simple web framework from Twitter called Bootstrap, I rebuilt it over a weekend.

Before and after, in approximately that order.

The new site, as always, is at yukondude.com. Those visiting with mobile browsers will notice that I still have work to do. The old one is preserved for posterity at memories.yukondude.com.

Note the careful omission of a telephone number, or even what it is I actually do.

Unsatisfied with merely a made-over web presence, I threw caution to the wind and had business cards made up as well. I had never bothered with cards in the past, as I reasoned most people would simply remember a company named "yukon dude." But then I stumbled across such a nifty business card idea somewhere on the internets that I just had to steal it for my own.

The result earned a coveted "thumbs-up" from the young staff that man the business desk at Staples. And my odds of winning a fishbowl draw have increased dramatically.

So now I can resume ignoring my site for another eight years until the trendy white-on-black theme has long passed out of fashion. Or at least until personal websites have been proscribed by our robot masters.

"Sufferin' Sock-puppets, Batman. The thief left his calling card at the scene of the crime." "That's true, friend of friends. Apparently Gotham has a new criminal mastermind to contend with. One that has carefully omitted his telephone number."